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  • ej_jaxon
    I use the word "friends" somewhat sarcastically, but ever since my MS took me out of the workplace all the people that used to call, email, invite me to functions, etc. seem to have all dried up.  Whats that all about?  I didnt think that just because I wasnt in the workplace that things would change to this degree. Have any of you had similar experiences?

  • avasquez82
    Hey girl, my name is Arlene, nice to meet you. 
  • ej_jaxon
    Hi Arlene. Nice to meet you too. How are you doing today?
  • avasquez82
    I'm good, how about yourself EJ ?
  • mhill2924
    Hopefully, they are still your friends, but you don't see them everyday like you did when you worked in the office.  Maybe you could invite one of the friends to lunch--or ask if they want to meet you somewhere!  They are continuing their normal life
  • ej_jaxon
    Unfortunately, I have tried everything and nothing becomes of it.  I get that they are contuining their normal life but I guess I just hoped I was a part of that. I have been out of the workplace more than 5 years...I think its time for me to give up :-). I am not upset or bitter...just would have liked for our friendships to have been as fruitful as they once were.  Disappointed but not mad...I am not that kind of person. 
  • connief59
    Hi EJ!  Friends come in and out of our lives and sometimes back in again.  You find out who your real friends are with the trials of having MS.  You are a beautiful lady!!  Find some new friends to hang out with.  Do what you love to do and you'll find others that have the same interests.  And you have us on here! 😁
  • ej_jaxon
    Good morning Connie,  you are so right and I have heard this before from my family, but to hear it from a stranger (although we arent anymore) it gives credence to what they have been telling me all along. Clearly, these "friends" were fair-weather friends and as hard as that is for me to deal with, I am exploring other options. It is nice to be active on the site...I used to just read and reply if I felt I had something to say, but knowing that people, like yourself, are a part of this wonderful community, it makes it that much easier. Thank you for your words of encouragement, take care, be well and most of all KEEP SMILING!!!
  • herwil
    I can't imagine why they would not respond to you reaching out to them.  Maybe you could take up some new interest and meet some new people.  I have been feeling pretty friendless too, but I think I was the one who dropped the ball.  I was just too tired to do things after working all week.  I keep telling myself I need to go see old friends.  It is just easier to curl up with a book.
  • adillon845
    Hi there. My name is Amanda.

    I agree completely. I was diagnosed when I was a freshman in high school, 2 weeks before my 15th birthday. My "best friend" seemed to disappear and most of my friends from school soon followed. I felt like as soon as someone found out the truth, they left. I still feel that way sometimes. =(  

    My first boyfriend (okay, I was 17, but still!) completely booked. He didn't want to deal with it. An ex told me, a direct quote, "It's not that I can't deal with it, I just don't to." I don't think we want to either!! 

    Nowadays, whoever finds out, finds out. If you know about it, you know about it. Take it or leave it. If you don't want to deal, then go. I don't want to deal with it, but I have to. At least I know that I'm true to me. =)
  • ej_jaxon
    Hey Amanda- Im glad you get it. People are funny and some are often fickle...meaning if you are in the hospital they will visit but once you get home and may need some support, they are instantly busy. I am glad that I have a great family and I hope you do too.  They are all we really NEED but there are times we do WANT our friends. I feel like I burden to my family (I know they dont feel that way) but I would like to be able to have options. Im at the point now where I feel like those that have gone away are missing out because I may be slower and do a lot less but I think Im still pretty cool (if I say so myself) :-)
  • adillon845
    I agree with you 100%. My family is everything to me and everyone knows it. I do feel like a burden at times, but I deal as best as I can and they do too. 

    You seem pretty awesome to me and I know I am! Their loss! Lol 
  • TheBillLarson
    One's true friends are always found when there are obstacles on your road of life. When the going gets tough, feel good friends up and vanish like a fart in the breeze. True friends remain. The bond between true friends may be strained, but it is never broken. If anything, almost like exercise, the strain forges the bond to be that much stronger. True friends accept you not only for who you are, but who you are becoming. What I mean by that is when things come along such as MS, true friends embrace it because it becomes part of who you are. True friends are few and far between, while other friends can be a dime a dozen. I'm not saying that having other friends is a bad thing, but know that those friends are not likely to be there through thick and thin.

    I am sorry to hear what you are going through with these friends. 
  • ej_jaxon
    Bill you dont look old enough to be this wise :-). I really appreciate your comment and agree. They werent "true" friends, but I am a caring person and it just bites that I treat people the way I want to be treated and they dont appreciate it. Thats my biggest issue honestly...I dont give of myself expecting something in return, but it hurts when I would like them around they are gone. Oh well, for the most part I have moved on, but was having a "moment" the other day and thought I would start a post. Thanks for taking the time to reply. We all need this support :-). Have a good evening.